Howdy Clexakru! A wise woman once told me: “heavy angst makes you feel heavy.” These are Clexa fics that have made me feel heavy, anxious, and nervous while reading. I worried that there would be no happy ending and, for some, there is not. These are the fics in which circumstances force Clarke, Lexa, or both to become a shell of the person they once were; whether due to death, disease, or a major fissure in their relationship. These are the fics that will leave you with a lead weight in your stomach until the very end. Enjoy the sweet delicious pain!
Always You, Only You and Unfinished Business (WIP) by zroe: This is a two part series that has all the great angst cliches: mutual pining, oblivious idiots, longing, slow burn, best friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, forced proximity. Clarke and Lexa are best friends but their friendship keeps destroying their romantic relationships with other people. Lexa’s decision at the end of Part 1 sets up an angst-ridden Part 2 in which we see an entirely different Clarke. Lexa’s own emotional pain manifests itself into physical pain. Pain Level: Deep paper cuts in-between the toes, fingers, and corner of the lips (both types of lips)
Living on a Fault Line by @anddirtyrain : Clarke and Lexa have a child together and have been divorced for several years. Clarke is trying to move on and Lexa can’t stop living in the past. A wonderfully painful, angsty fic in which they must learn to communicate and decide if they can make a life together again. This may be one of the heaviest fics on the list. ADR begins her story on a painful note and just barely alleviates it for the audience by the end. She does a great job exploring the reason behind the divorce and the nature of each partner’s response. Pain Level: Swallowing a spoonful of thumbtacks and chasing it with a shot of rubbing alcohol
Except You, Love (WIP) by @theproseofnight : EYL has quickly become a classic in the fandom and it is easy to see why. PoN expertly weaves a heartbreaking tale of two women falling in love and falling apart. Flashbacks juxtaposed against current narration help the reader fully understand the depth of love Clexa had for each other and the pain that drove them apart. PoN creates an atmosphere of darkness and heaviness that the reader will feel reflected in themselves while reading. Pain Level: Cannonball to the gut after eating gas station sushi
And They Met Again by @artsy-polarbear : Lexa recounts the happiest years of her life with Clarke. This devastating one-shot is beautifully written with a poetic vision of the life Clarke and Lexa shared. The pain hurts in a soft, soothing way making you feel sullen but calm. This fic will leave you with the feeling you get when you remember your old friends with fondness but are saddened by the realization that you will never have those days back again. Pain Level: Bleeding out in the bathtub surrounded by citronella candles while listening to Enya’s “Only Time”
You’re Hand in Mine Parts 1 and 2 By @geralehane : Clarke must find a way to pay for her father’s medical bills. She and Finn concoct a plan to deceive Lexa out of her money. However, Clarke never planned to lose her own heart. The best thing about this fic is exploring the wreckage Clarke’s decision leaves behind. There is no easy happy ending. Clarke destroyed Lexa’s trust and love. This fic does a fantastic job of showing just how difficult it is to rebuild what was lost and how much work is involved. Pain Level: Driving across country in August in a Prius with no A/C and a broken radio that only plays Art of the Deal as narrated by Donald Trump
A Forest Fire by @factorsofex : Clarke wakes up at the age of 16. Only problem is, she was 24 when she went to bed. Clarke and Lexa’s relationship is deteriorating. Clarke is given a second chance to make things right. But maybe the best thing is to end things before they began. This story could have easily turned rom-com or fluffy, but EF does a wonderful dance of sidestepping time travel cliches and opting for a realistic take on the fix-it trope. Maybe Clarke and Lexa were always doomed to end. Maybe it would be better to never start. Pain Level: Playing barefoot soccer with a cactus
Crawling Back to Your Bed by @jazzyjazzin : This is one of my favorite one-shots. The reader is thrust into the mind of a drunken Lexa as she decides she doesn’t care about what’s best for herself anymore - she needs Clarke. The prose truly shines during the intimate scenes between Clexa. Lexa knows she is giving in and will only feel pain. But she can’t help herself. She loves Clarke even if Clarke can never love her back. If I could pick a single one-shot to turn into a full fic, this would be it. Pain Level: Cannonball diving into an above ground pool of broken glass in New Jersey
Without You I’m Lost by @unaligned-valkyrie : Lexa is a drug addicted rock star and Clarke is the girl she left behind. Will Lexa choose Clarke and the life they could of had or continue her life of drugs and fame? This is a heavy fic that looks at the repercussions of drug addiction on relationships. One scene in particular reminds me of a heartbreaking scene in the movie Gia. The longing between Clarke and Lexa is sorrowful and filled with lost memories and missed chances. This fic packs a punch and will grip your heart with pain. Pain Level: Remember when Jennifer Hudson was kicked off of American Idol? Yeah, that level of pain.
Pictures of You by @barbieliberationarmy : Clarke and Lexa had a special friendship in college but they never talked about it. Then one night changed everything and they never spoke again. Now it’s their 20-year college reunion and they will be reunited. From misunderstandings to poor timing to missed opportunities, there is so much angst in this fic. The tension between Clarke and Lexa in nearly every scene is palatable. It makes it all the more sweeter when resolution finally occurs. Pain Level: Getting a mammogram using mousetraps while the doctor comments on the size of your nipples
My Best Friend’s Wedding by southernmiss: There’s an interesting juxtaposition in this fic. On the on hand, the fic is based off the movie of the same title and has many rom-com elements. On the other hand, there is a darkness to the way SM wrote Clarke and Lexa’s relationship. All the other characters feel like they are in a rom-com but the Clexa relationship is out of a tragic drama. SM does a fantastic job of weaving two somewhat dissimilar elements together. Leaving you with a heavy angst story filled with moments of lightheartedness. Pain Level: Stuck in an elevator with your boss for 48 hours as MmmBop plays non-stop
Between our Love (WIP) by @dreamsaremywords : They were supposed to start a family. They were supposed to be happy. But now Costia is dead and Lexa is a shell of who she once was. Clarke wants to be there for her friend but she needs Lexa now more than ever because Clarke is carrying Lexa and Costia’s child. DAMW is unleashing pain and suffering that will have your heart crushed under a weight of sadness. I am awed by her ability to intimately detail the grieving process and how friends move through it together. The true strength of DAMW’s writing has always been her ability to drop small crumbs of foreshadowing as to the deep connection Clexa share with each other. Pain Level: Giving birth on a bed of nails while your mom tells you that she had a more difficult time giving birth to you
Some Angels Fall by @aphrodites-law : Clarke died four years ago. So why is she waking up without any recollection of her death? There is a sadness that lingers throughout this fic. Clarke’s death had tremendous effects on everyone she loves, especially Lexa. The scene in which Lexa and Clarke finally meet again is heartbreaking. This fic is an early one of AL and shows that she is a naturally gifted writer who can infuse heavy angst and hope into a single fic. Pain Level: Constantly stepping on a pile of LEGOs while watching a marathon of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
You’re Ex-Lover is Dead and The Loneliness and the Scream by adreamaloud : This two-part series is adapted from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. Lexa must come back to town for Abby’s funeral and face Clarke, who has erased Lexa from her mind, literally. Clarke is married again and has no idea who Lexa is, even though all their friends seem to look upon Lexa with mournful eyes. The pain of being forgotten is explored as Lexa tries to reconcile seeing her Clarke but knowing Clarke does not remember her. The open ending leaves it up to the reader to decide what ultimately occurs with the pair. I personally see it as a tragic ending, but you decide for yourself. Pain Level: Sliding on your stomach, head first, on a Slip N’ Slide made of sandpaper as many times as your age
Writing Advice: it doesn’t matter if an idea has been done before. It’s never been done by you. So long as you do it well, and in your own way, it’s a wonderful contribution.
*slams fists on table*
THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED
*flips table*
BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS
*Kicks chair*
ENEMIES TO LOVERS
*throws lamp across room*
HELP I NEED A FAKE BOYFRIEND FOR MY EX’S WEDDING
*rips down the curtains*
THEY’RE FAMOUS AND THEIR FANS SHIP THEM
*clutches wine glass so hard it shatters in my fist*
fosters home for imaginary friends was an awful dystopia and no one talks about it at all
just a few things established in the fosters universe
imaginary friends are sentient people and everyone can see them
8 years old is considered too old to have an imaginary friend
a large amount of imaginary friends get thrown out on the street legally. At several points they talk about how they had nowhere to go and just wandered around. In Good Wilt Hunting you see a neighborhood full of imaginary friends that live on the street
this is such an issue there’s shelter(s). there’s absolutely political debates about this.
imaginary friends have rights, but not the same rights as humans (they can hold jobs and need passports and such but they can be confiscated/held as property and apparently killed without any legal issues)
babies imagine abstract, swarming friends, kids imagine normal friends, anyone older tends towards violent monsters that have to be locked up to keep them from attacking people
at one point, someone imagines a friend and eats it because they’re hungry
Remember when there was that painting of sappho getting eaten out by another woman and Wikipedia captioned it as “sappho and a pal” because I think about that a lot
this is an old post but I found the pic is anyone interested in seeing it
im so sorry for ghosting everyone about this but i found it
